This will be a terrible blog post. And that’s OK.

Posted on April 15, 2014 by Jeff

I used to blog regularly.

 

A while ago I stopped. I’m not sure why. It may be due to family/business/schedule. It may be due to my growing disdain for our social media culture saturated with posts, pictures and blog posts detailing everyone’s every thought on everything. It may be due to my observation that blogs are more and more a place for people to spout off some generalized opinions about any number of things, telling us why things are broken and what group of people is to blame, labeling people as either ‘with me’ or ‘against me.’ Which in turn, forces others to suit up and write the ‘counter-blog’, giving us 21 reasons why the writer of the first blog is misguided and evil. They assure us “REASON #16 will BLOW YOU AWAY!!” Then supporters of each blogger share the blogs on Facebook, and the blogger with the most ‘shares’ goes to Heaven.

 

Anyway, I used to blog. Then I stopped.

 

From time to time I would try to get back on the horse and write a blog. I would get a paragraph in and realize what I was writing was total crap (yes, the very same feeling I’m having right now.) If I were writing on paper I would angrily crumple up the paper, pound the desk three times and throw crumpled paper towards the garbage pail and miss. But since I would be typing on my computer, I would settle for clicking the red circle and answering the question that followed with an emphatic “No, I definitely do NOT want to save.”

 

Anyway, I used to blog, then I stopped, then I sucked at it.

 

Here’s realization #1: I don’t think I stopped blogging because I was bad at it, I believe I got bad at it when I stopped doing it. As with anything, you neglect it, you’ll lose skill at it – except for riding a bike.

 

You may be thinking “Jeff, you were never that great at it… it shouldn’t take you too long to get your swing back.”

 

So I’ve decided to start blogging/writing again. Yes, right now it’s rough, but the point is to get better.

 

Realization #2: I was happier when I was writing.

 

I don’t have many creative outlets these days and I believe the following to be true of creative people – if we stop having outlets at which we can be creative, we get crabby. We then feel less inspired to be creative. Then, we go dark. Then we write extremely sad worship songs. And I don’t want to do that because we have enough of those already.

 

So I’m choosing to blog (we definitely need more blogs in the world) because it’s good for me to have an outlet. Hopefully that will prime the pump and I’ll eventually have something to say.

 

Here’s where I have found myself a lot lately: I feel discouraged about many things in life. I feel as though I need circumstances to change in order to be happy and productive. As a result of feeling down, I spend too much time on mind-less things like watching TV and looking at social media. And then my time in the Bible and in prayer starts taking a hit. And things continue to spiral downward. Eventually my wife will let me know that although her love for me remains strong, I’ve become a total downer and I’d better go outside and play, or find something fun to do, or start taking some happy pills, or whatever it takes.

 

So instead of continuing in the self-pity-cycle, I’m going to once again live my life with some purpose. I’m going to remember that circumstances have zero to do with joy. I’m going to be one who adds life to the world around him. I’m going to read stuff that challenges and inspires. I will remember how blessed I am. I will find some adventures to take. I will resist the gravitational pull of routine, mundane life. And I’m going to try to write a blog with some regularity. Just because I believe I’m a better person when I’m doing so.

 

So if you’re reading this, you have unwittingly become part of my self-improvement project – and who doesn’t love when that happens?? Also, if you’re still reading this, you made it much farther then I thought you would.

 

But hopefully these posts will suck less in the future.